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Love, Resilience, and Renewal

A Series by Caregiver Gerald Lloyd Wood

“This series of short stories and the accompanying original art were created to document and share my journey as a dementia caregiver. If you are caring for a loved one who is challenged by Alzheimer’s or another dementia, may they resonate with you while seeking meaning in your caregiving work and a better, brighter and healthier future. If this is your first time stopping by, I recommend starting from the beginning with Story #1: A Few Things I’ve Learned.”

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Love, Resilience, and Renewal

Lucky Son-of-a-Gun #23

Little Paradise on the Hill

Lin, you may forget the crazy nut behind you in study, but he won’t forget you.  I envy the lucky son-of-a-gun who finally wins you for his wife. Never change!!  Love, Bobby T.

The caption above will be explained later in this story. When a spouse passes, as mine did after a long illness with Alzheimer’s disease, the time comes to go through their personal things. Making decisions about what to do with them is often difficult which makes it easy to put off as long as possible. Such was the case with me.

Finally, the time came to begin going through articles of clothing in the master bedroom closet and accessories in her chest of drawers. Everything went to charities except her bridal gown and going away suit in the most beautiful Emerald Green color you’ve ever seen. With anticipation, I remember how beautiful she looked in that outfit, all 107 pounds of her! I knew she would never want me to part with those two extremely sentimental things. Someone else will have to deal with that after my passing.

As the closet emptied, I was surprised how little space I had used all those years without complaining. I just assumed all guys are relegated to whatever amount of space is left over. A smart man knows not to complain. Much to my delight as I created new space between the hangers, those cramped clothes never needed pressing again.  

After the closet, I emptied her dresser and began the final chore of going through boxes of personal keepsakes. This part of the job proved to be a slow, tedious and torturous trip down memory lane. What would she want me to keep? Was it heartless or disrespectful to discard anything that had been important to her? Some keepsakes brought back memories that made them harder to throw away.

Near the end, just imagine the smile on my face when I found a senior class picture of a classmate of hers with the quotation at the beginning of this story written on the back.

That picture was in a final box of keepsake photos I had never seen. I clearly remembered his name as someone my wife had mentioned early in our marriage. He had befriended her when she transferred to a new high school back east. This photo meant enough for her to keep it all those years as a reminder of a happy memory. It struck me that after fifty-six years of marriage; we each had respected the other’s privacy and personal papers. Trust is a beautiful thing.

Certainly, she had serious suitors along the way and choices; but, I’m deeply grateful she chose me instead of Bobby T. As fate would have it, she won my heart and I was to be that lucky son-of-a-gun who won her’s. 

© 2023 Gerald Lloyd Wood. This story and accompanying art are used with permission of the author, Gerald Lloyd Wood.

Little Paradise on the Hill

My wife passed with Alzheimer’s disease; but, I have beautiful memories of our times together swinging side-by-side. Swing partners, especially ones you love, create moments of relaxing, peaceful & momentary slices of Heaven. I became a Master Gardener and landscaped our place from end-to-end with a master plan designed by Southern Living Magazine. We met together in this swing with glasses of wine or ice cold sweet tea depending on the time of day, the seasons and the weather. Our special name for this lovely place in the country was our “Little Paradise on the Hill.”

 

The worries of the world were left behind here as we observed Bald Eagles nesting at the reservoir below and watched cattle grazing in the adjacent pasture as Cumulous clouds on summer days cast moving shadows on the Ouachita Mountains in the near distance. Our black and tan Labradors, Sam and Clay, and Tortoise cat named Camo, got along like family and were always at our feet.

 

My father built this swing that was mentioned in Story 21-“What’s Your Story?” You may have already read it by following our Meaning & Hope Institute series on dementia. If not, you might enjoy going back. My father, a multi-talented man, including woodworking, became a victim of Lewy-Body Dementia with classic symptoms. It was sadder than sad for mother and our family to lose him after 62 years of marriage. His gifted swings to nursing homes where he lived were a legacy to brighten the days of those living there, without them ever knowing this good man.

Little Paradise on the Hill
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