Jennifer Grand made a career out of being of service to others. She was a registered nurse for more than half a century and worked as an admissions coordinator for a hospice organization. “I found myself drawn to people going through difficult times,” she said. In her career and volunteer work as a faith community nurse at her church, she often found herself helping and counseling families whose loved ones had struggled with dementia. It struck her how much more support and knowledge they needed.
“They were fighting a war they never signed up for and couldn’t escape,” she said. “I developed a sincere empathy and love for them.”
Jennifer became involved with Duet after participating in its previous program that trained nurses who provide education and support in their faith communities. A few years ago, Jennifer heard Dr. Pauline Boss speak at a Duet conference and learned about Finding Meaning and Hope a program based on her book Loving Someone Who Has Dementia: How to Find Hope While Coping with Stress and Grief. Jennifer was excited to find information and coping strategies that she could share with others. She was so inspired, she became a facilitator for a video discussion series that is a cornerstone of Duet’s Meaning & Hope Institute.
The Meaning & Hope Institute provides information and resources to caregivers. In the discussion series, trained facilitators like Jennifer run 10-week sessions. She introduces topics and videos, guides the discussion, and provides prompts for reflection and growth.
Some sessions take place in person and others are virtual, allowing them to reach caregivers around the country. Built on solid research and years of practical experiences, Finding Meaning and Hope offers real help in dealing with the challenges, losses and rewards of being a family caregiver undergoing “ambiguous loss” — the complex grief of caring for someone who is physically present yet psychologically absent.
“It (Finding Meaning and Hope) changes their perspective and makes a real difference. The group members come to view each other as extended family.”
Jennifer hosted her first Finding Meaning and Hope series online amid the Covid-19 pandemic — a particularly stressful and isolating time for family caregivers. She has since run several other sessions.
Jennifer has never been a caregiver for someone with dementia. Still, she has applied some of the lessons from Finding Meaning and Hope in her own life. The concept of balancing control with acceptance particularly resonates with her. “Things are not perfect,” she said. “They simply are what they are, and I control my attitude and response to them.”
She notes that people caring for a loved one with health issues other than dementia, or friends of those with cognitive impairment, can benefit.
Those who are interested in Finding Meaning and Hope but aren’t sure if it’s right for them should try joining a session and/or buying Boss’ book, Jennifer said — “you will know right away if it is relevant to your situation.”
One of her latest sessions was particularly memorable. There were three participants, and the small size of the group allowed the group to get to know each other particularly well. “The discussions were probably more poignant than any we’d had before,” Jennifer said. “They could share secrets of how they were feeling.” After the group concluded, Jennifer gave the participants mugs and totes from featuring her wildlife photography and bearing the words Find Meaning, Hold on to Hope, Stay Flexible.
It’s rewarding, she said, to see the bonds that participants form during their time together.
“This experience has such profound relevance,” she said. “It changes their perspective and makes a real difference. The group members come to view each other as extended family.” After a lifetime of service, Jennifer remains guided by her faith and a sense of purpose. “I believe God put me here to do this,” she said.
Duet is always looking for compassionate volunteers to lead our Finding Meaning and Hope discussions. Learn more about how to get involved.
About Sandra Pedicini
Sandra Pedicini is a Duet volunteer caregiver mentor and writes about aging and caregiving issues. She is a former newspaper journalist and works as a corporate communications manager.
